Don’t Redefine Marriage

I am a conservative and I have feelings of compassion for other people when life deals difficulties, 
disappointments, and trials. This includes those who do not marry, gay or straight.

I am not anti-gay.

The marriage question is not that difficult for me. I believe marriage is a union of male and female, mainly because it is about having kids and ensuring the continuation of life.  That there is much more to marriage is true. That some couples cannot have children is true. That some people never have a chance to marry is true. That some marriages end in divorce is true. But marriage was instituted by God, starting with Adam and Eve, who were given the command to multiply and replenish the earth; and to become one flesh.  We become one flesh in our children; there is no other way. 

Let’s not redefine marriage — it’s the optimum union for perpetuating the species. If you can join in, great. If you can’t, for any number of reasons, that is fine too. You are still a child of God, a person who can progress in this life and overcome trials and obstacles. We are eternal beings. We should trust in God. Liberal government tells us we deserve whatever feels good; that we should have no trials, and that God is a figment of our imagination–some delusional shadow in our DNA carried over from myth-believing ancestors.

It’s not just LGBTs who feel left out. There are many who wish to marry, and do not for a number of reasons.

When your love is not reciprocated. 
When you are very overweight.
When you are very homely.
When you fall in love with a married man.
When you are under-age.
When you are divorced and have five little children.
When you are widowed and have five little children.

We all have trials. We do not always get what we want. We make sacrifices. That is what life is about. It’s not about getting everything that feels right, or feels good. We don’t tell God what marriage is about.

A gay man can fall in love, and form a union that is extremely meaningful, and I can have love, respect, and admiration for that person and their union; but the term “marriage” needs to refer to a male and female union. Other unions should have respect–and laws can provide protection. But, my moral code says that sexual relations are approved within the marriage covenant; and that applies to me as well — no sexual relations with someone other than my spouse. 

I certainly believe we should accept gays (LGBT).  There has to be a place for all of God’s children; those who desire to keep his commandments and feel his love obtain a reward in this life and in the next. LGBT people are our friends, our brothers, and sisters, and should be able to worship God as I do.
Past President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Gordon B. Hinckley has said: “Nevertheless, and I emphasize this, I wish to say that our opposition to attempts to legalize same-sex marriage should never be interpreted as justification for hatred, intolerance, or abuse of those who profess homosexual tendencies, either individually or as a group. As I said from this pulpit one year ago, our hearts reach out to those who refer to themselves as gays and lesbians. We love and honor them as sons and daughters of God. They are welcome in the Church. It is expected, however, that they follow the same God-given rules of conduct that apply to everyone else, whether single or married” (LDS Newsroom, 7 June 2006)

I think when you bring God into the picture it is easier. God tells us not to judge. I do not condemn those with same sex attraction as sinners. Some of them keep the commandments and remain celibate. That is not something required only of them, it is required of everyone outside the bonds of 
marriage. I teach my kids to remain virtuous before marriage.

However, I do not condemn those heterosexuals who live together without marriage. I do not condemn those who have sex outside of marriage. None of us are sinless. There are good people in this life, trying to be better. I do stand up for what is right. I am appalled by the man the Obama Administration chose to represent the gay movement, Dan Savage. He is a gay activist, that has bullied Christians and threatened Rick Santorum. You can see his video.  Let me warn you, it is disgusting. And I am sure there are some in the LGBT community who find this man not representative of their politics.

“Romney was right when he told Fox News last week that his campaign hires people ‘not based upon their ethnicity, or their sexual preference or their gender, but upon their capability.'” (Dennis Prager, Conservative and Gays Where Do We Stand?)

Marriage does not have to be a requisite for happiness or success or God’s continued blessings. But marriage was ordained of God, to be a union of a female and a male. To say otherwise is to say that religion and God are wrong. And that, for any country is more than just sad. It is a sign of dismissing God, and those of us that believe in Him.

“Those of us who fear the consequences of redefining marriage — asking children if they hope to marry a boy or a girl when they get older, banning religious adoption agencies from placing children first with a married man and woman, denying the importance of both sexes in making families…” (Dennis Prager)

Watch CBS Morning interview Dennis Prager about the Politics of Same Sex Marriage:

More Reading:
The Proclamation of The Family ( (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints)
Gay And Mormon, is it Safe Yet (

  • RoeH

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • RoeH

    Every time I try to give that guy the benefit of the doubt, he does something stupid. This has turned the whole election into a ‘pro vs anti’ thing. I’ve learned that it is not my job to judge them. They are children of God just like the rest of us and do deserve that God given right of free agency like everybody does. I just get tired of having it thrown in my face all the time.

  • dgenetaylor

    Roeann, nice comment. Well said.
    BTW, nice journal; great treasure from Charles Alfred Harper for your family, and for historians of that period. Will the electronic journals survive, I wonder?

  • Pedaling

    This post helped me respond to a friends facebook post of a fellow member who is in favor of gay marriage. Thank you so much. I feel like I gave him somethings to really think about. I love all your posts and read them, even though I don’t always comment.
    Happy Mothers Day!

  • The Atomic Mom

    Thank you for saying this so clearly. I have a gay brother, he believs in gay marriage. It’s been hard to see him believe the rhetoric of the world when he knows the stand of the Church. I do not fully understand what my brother has gone thru, coming to terms with his sexuality, but when I was an older YSA and staring down the rest of my life single, I had to make choices — choose to follow God or not. I pray that my brother will change his mind one day and will support the Church on the marriage issue. I also know that as Latter-day Saints we have a lot of work to do in making LGBT members feel welcome. If we do not, they will turn and follow the ways of the world.

  • Deila Taylor

    I so agree with you on the LGBT issue. I have recently interviewed an LDS woman who has been working to improve the situation. I will let you know when it gets published (its for the mormon women project.) But she had some wonderful ideas about how we can help include our brothers and sisters in the gospel who have the same gender attraction. This life is never easy, and we are all touched by this issue, in our families and friends. I wish the best for your brother.

Disclaimer This site is not affiliated with or owned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I do not seek to influence or gather members of the Church. I started Eve Out of the Garden as a place to record my thoughts as I search for greater truth and light and acknowledge that my thinking can change during this process. The content covers many areas of my life — homeschooling, homesteading, health, faith, family history, marriage, raising kids, online learning, nature, science, nutrition, education, and just about anything you might find as a mortal on earth.