Parents are often mystified by the teenage brain. In fact, I don’t think many us want to travel back to our teenage brain. But there is an explanation. Current research shows that brain development goes through two stages: growth spurts and pruning. It sounds a lot like a tree.

These growth spurts begin in the womb. Another spurt begins between the ages of 10 to 13 — around puberty. After this brain overgrowth, there is some pruning and organizing of neural pathways. Your teenager is not yet thinking with the CEO part of the brain — his/her pre-frontal cortex (like adults.) From the ages of puberty to about age 25, the adolescent brain is still pruning; the connections that govern judgement are still connecting.
It could be your teenage daughter is emotional because she reacts to emotion from the Amygdala instead of the CEO portion of her brain. I found a great book about this — by Goldie Hawn, called 10 Mindful Minutes. She also helped to created a curriculum which I wish had been available when I was homeschooling — Mindup.
I don’t want to put too much pressure on you, but you have the ability to make an impact — the teenage brain is a work in progress.
“If a teen is doing music, sports or academics, those are the connections that will be hard-wired. If they are lying on the couch or playing video games or MTV, those are the cells and connections that are going to survive.” Dr. Jay Giedd
Although, video gaming is now proving to have some positive aspects. I’m not saying we should come down hard on our teens and become a dragon-mother. Even though teens want to be independent, they need to know we love them. They need good memories and strong pathways of good times with mom, dad and family. It’s good to recall these memories too, so those brain connections remain strong.

“With all the science and with all the advances, the best advice we can give is things that our grandmother could have told us generations ago: to spend loving, quality time with our children.” Dr. Jay Giedd

My husband grew up on an orchard, pruning fruit trees. When it comes to fruit trees, pruning has a direct impact on how much fruit a tree will bear the next season. It even seems odd to be thinning the fruit on branches, but this is necessary to get the larger fruits.

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