Men are visual. Dennis Prager, conservative talk show host, likes to explain this to women. Since communication and understanding are essential in a good marriage, learning that men and women are different is one of the keys. I think it helps to understand the visual man.
Prager wants to come clean, no more secrets. He explains that men are reluctant to reveal this visual nature to their wives. One guy called in on his talk show and said, yes his wife thought he was a pig when he tried to explain the visual nature of man.
For me, I have been amused, bemused and educated by Dennis, but he has helped me understand what I thought I knew, but didn’t really get.
Dennis has helped uncover the male—that’s a visual image for you– But, really, thanks, for exposing men’s thoughts and desires, and showing us that men really are different — that the glimpse of a woman’s leg is all it takes for the male mind — and the restraint men learn to keep it all in-line.
Remember the Seinfeld episode–Jerry nudges George with his elbow, to take a quick peek of the girl that happens to be exposing a little bit of cleavage? George holds the peek too long, and Jerry, scolds him–“looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun, you don’t stare at it, it’s too risky, you get a sense of it and then you look away…a poke and a peek–that’s all.”
Men and women are very different. To a woman, a man sporting some short shorts is something to giggle about. For a man, a woman in shorts is very sexy, nothing to laugh about there.
My husband and I laugh about these differences — and he doesn’t get it why I don’t get it. I accept it, but don’t get it. But those are our differences. We are wired differently. I don’t know what it feels like to be a man. And for sure, men do not know what it feels like to be a woman — birthing a child or having hormones fluctuate.
However, this is not a post in favor of pornography. I believe we have a pornography epidemic that is not healthy for male and female relationships. And it’s one of the adversary’s attempts to destroy families. He takes our God-given nature of sexuality and procreation and corrupts it.
This is a post about understanding differences in our perceptions. I don’t think it helps for women to think it is ok for them to dress scantily, or to the extremes of looking like a prostitute, and then be angry when a man takes notice. That is what I am saying here. And I think that cable tv, movies, and the Internet have taken advantage of the scientific research that shows that men experience greater sexual arousal with visual images than women (Areas of Brain Activation in Males and Females During Viewing of Erotic Film Excerpts.)
Of course, though I understand the differences, I do expect fidelity in thought and deed. But this is what marriage is all about — becoming best friends with your mate –trying to see things from each others perspective. And having some humor on the subject. And a good sex life with your spouse. It’s a tough world we live in, and I believe marriage and family are important, and it starts with a man and woman having a close, understanding, faithful relationship.