Today you can be a leader. You can make someone feel better. It’s so simple that we usually don’t do it and we usually don’t acknowledge when it happens. I was trying to define what it meant to be a leader of men (and women). I found this great TED talk about leading with lollipops. It made me stop and think and redefine what a leader does. It made me laugh too, because my youngest son does this. He’s leaving next week for the MTC and I know the change will be difficult, but he’s a natural when it comes to being himself and reaching out to people. I’ve learned a lot from him.
Remember these points:
1. Thank the person that has made a difference in your life — who handed you a lollipop at just the right moment.
2. Don’t be afraid to be yourself.
3. It’s OK to be different and wear a goofy hat and carry a bucket of lollipops to hand out.
4. Don’t judge other people by what they look like.
5. Be aware that everyone has difficulties in life and you don’t really know them.
A few weeks ago my son and I flew down to Burbank, CA to visit my mom before he leaves for his mission. We were flying on Southwest, so I let him pick out our seat — “just find two seats together,” I told him. He stopped in the aisle and we shoved our bags up into the overhead. I took the middle seat next to a young man with a hot pink baseball cap sitting by the window. He seemed busy with his ipad, so I didn’t say anything. But as he put it away, he sparked up a conversation — “where are you from?”
We got to talking and I was immediately drawn to liking him. My son said he was going to Europe for 2 years (not mentioning his LDS mission at first) but the whole Mormon thing came out when Christian explained that he was raised Mormon, served a mission, and had just recently told his parents that he is gay and has felt that way since he was 3 years old.
I’ve written about my acceptance of gays and lesbians — as I do not understand all things and believe that this can be something that happens biologically. Awhile back, I interviewed Lisa Hansen, an LDS woman who has worked to create better relationships within Mormon families who have gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. She has some great sources.
Christian is a delightful person — full of kindness and enthusiasm for life — I was immediately drawn to him. He is a gifted singer and composer of music. In our conversation I asked him about his work and music. My son was enthused that he was a David Bowie fan and had a similar style. He has a wonderful voice. But I have to tell you, I might have imagined him a different person, if I had seen his album or website before meeting him. You can’t really know a person by looking at them, or even reading a little about them.
In the book, Visions of Glory, Spencer talks about how you have to know people — their life and history — before you can help build Zion. That step starts when you reach out and become aware of another person — create a lollipop moment.
Become A Leader Among Men
“I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize:
The first is gentleness; the second is frugality;
the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others.
Be gentle and you can be bold;
be frugal and you can be liberal;
avoid putting yourself before others
and you can become a leader among men.”
~ Lao Tzu
