I was reading a blog where women were voicing their discontent, irritation and “how dare they” attitude about a church magazine article in the “Friend” recommending that little girls wear shirts with sleeves or dresses with sleeves. Many felt that by publishing this article (written by some member, and it was a little silly), that the church was on a dangerous course and not sticking to the meat of the gospel. I understand that some Mormons carry things to the extreme and judge other members who do not do “as they do.” They may see any “sleeveless” Mormon child as breakin’ the law. In all honesty, I’m ok with sleeveless for young girls and for women who haven’t made covenants at the temple to wear garments (that small cap sleeve — that’s probably where the idea comes from.)
I had to speak up during sharing time in Primary one Sunday when our president was making a big to-do about modesty and that girls should not wear sleeveless dresses. I looked around and saw the bishop’s daughter in her cute sleeveless dress, and many other girls. I shot my hand up, and said, “we have to be careful not to offend our friends and judge them about sleeves.” Our children mimic us, and if we look with disapproval, they will often do that with their friends, and be offensive. Why hurt a little girl’s feelings over something like this?
So, yes this is not a good direction, but I’m not leaving the church over it.
Remember, the gospel net brings in all kinds of fish. I must consciously choose not to be offended by those who do things differently, or those who set up very rigid fences around certain counsel. And that’s hard, I have gotten irritated and discouraged about some things I do not wish to talk about and some I have.
Next— gays in the Mormon church. There was a parade in support of gay Mormons, in Salt Lake City, Utah, on a sabbath morning. I also watched a video produced by gay BYU students. I have sensitive feelings for the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) community and especially for those in the church. We as a people should never judge them or treat them as less than a child of God. I do not understand all things, but I support the church’s stance on not re-defining marriage. Male and female and replenishing the earth, in a marriage, that makes sense. I have intereviewed a kind woman in the church has done much good in helping bridge the gap between gay Mormons and the membership of the church. We don’t want to exclude them or make them feel sinful for something they have no control over.
I see the difference between official church policy and things that get swooped up as policy, but are not. Some things are just opinions, especially within a congregation of imperfect people. Elder Christofferson explained, “not every statement made by a church leader, past or present necessarily constitutes doctrine.” (April 2012 Conference) Plus, policy changes sometimes.
There will be things you disagree with, even church policy, but I have to agree with Hugh Nibley on this one:
“There are several examples I could cite where Hugh disagreed with Church policy. But when he could not argue forcefully for the Church, he kept his mouth shut. During the debate over blacks and the priesthood, Hugh evidently disagreed with the policy. Nevertheless, he never voiced those beliefs until after the priesthood ban was lifted.12 I once asked him about something that might be seen as heretical today but which was not in the nineteenth century, and he responded, “I never think about that.” Then he paused and restated, “Well, I think about it, but I never talk about it.” This may seem cowardly to some, but clearly Hugh was able to do more for the Church by remaining loyal and quiet; he would have lost that ability had he come out in open opposition to the Church’s position.” (Boyd Petersen, Hugh Nibley’s son-in-law)
Life is a bit like a game of chess, it takes more thought than just jumping checkers. I have faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ as restored by Joseph Smith. He was imperfect, but when he spoke the words of God, I feel in my bones that they are true. But life is messy.
