I’m knee-deep in Dostadning — Swedish death cleaning. Not my house, not my stuff. But my parent’s house of 70-plus years. My mom kept everything. And she waited to hand things out until it was too late. She passed on. She left everything for me and my sisters. As we went through the cupboards and saw all the years of saving, we finally understood why our mom never wanted to tackle any of this — much easier to leave it. Much more fun for her to wait until she didn’t have to relinquish ownership.
Swedish death cleaning — Dostadning — is when the elderly and their families sort through the family heirlooms and hand them down to the family. It’s not a sad event. But it becomes a task if you wait until you’re dead and gone. Not a task if you are the one dead. But, you can’t share the stories of some of the hidden treasures. My mom was never ready or wanting to part with her belongings. My sister and I would try to pull out old photos and quickly take snapshots with our phones. I’m not really sure why my mom didn’t want to do this type of cleaning. As it is now, the things that I am taking possession of will immediately go to my children. So, I am death cleaning what would be more inheritance as I death clean my mom’s house.
Today, after 7 months of death cleaning, I found my moms diary from ages 14 – 18 in the last cupboard, three shelves stuffed with wrapping paper and ribbons. I emptied the shelves and then decided I probably better make sure nothing is left. Getting the two step ladder out I reached up to the top shelf. Way back, not visible from the ground was a small old cardboard box about 5 x 7 inches. I opened it and found a five year diary with my mom’s name engraved in it. She never said anything about it, and I’m thinking she may have forgotten she pushed it back there. Her mom died when she was only 13 years old, so this find helps fill in some of the blanks.
My parents divorced when I was 26. My dad took our family beach house, my mom kept the family home. My dad passed away over ten years ago and he appointed me trustee. He had already minimized what he owned. It was easy to share what he left with my sisters. One sister did not want anything but an old picture that hung in the home of my father’s parents. Kind of a funny scene of an English dog hunt. Cecil Aldin, The Fallowfield Hunt Breakfast at the Three Pigeons Chromolithograph, dated 1900. This is what it looked like:
Unfortunately, her sons threw it away one day. So, you never know when some items meet their final demise. Its a good idea to hand out your family treasures while you are of sound mind — and determine who really wants it and will keep it in the family.
Of course, I often reflect on the things we are claiming in my mom’s house — will I just junk these later on? Do I really want more stuff? After all, it’s just stuff, that all ends up in the landfill one day. Or will be recycled to produce hydrogen in the near future.
Most of the cupboards are packed with old and new. And I mean old. One of the first portable Jacuzzis — I think that looks scary to plug in while sitting in a tub of water:
Glass Christmas ornaments:
A very large can of hot fudge dated back to the 70s:
The old King Edwards cigar box — I used to keep my allowance in it:
And in the bathroom cupboard:
